Something that I’ve been pondering on for the past few years has been the ‘negative connotation’ of singleness.
I believe partly that this has been the result of the world’s social pressures and, unfortunately the misrepresentation that ‘the church’ (as a whole) and Christian culture has put on this idea of being single. I have to say that over the years I’ve seen both and experienced both. The more I have experienced this journey of life, the more I have sensed God empress on my heart a different perspective of singleness.
I once heard it said, if I reach near the end of my life, at the age of 80, would I say that I have accomplished what God has set out for me to do even while remaining single? Or would I say that I was still waiting to fulfil my purpose because I was waiting for a relationship? Wow, that is a mouth full. I’ll say that again… would I say that I have accomplished what God has set out for me to do even if I never got married?
Unfortunately, I have seen far too frequently, the church as a wider community place focus and importance on dating and marriage… not that I’m saying those aren’t vital, BUT what I am say is this: we have forgotten that even before dating and marriage can exist, we have to be content in singleness, we have to know who we are as children of the living God, as our sole identity and purpose founded in Christ without the expectation that our lives would somehow become fulfilled and completed now that we have found our spouse.
(Just to note: this is a generalisation of course… I’ve learnt so much about singleness, dating and marriage from my fellow believer communities and my experiences have been positive as well. I’m just trying to emphasise the need for more of it. So please know and understand my heart here in not hating on the Christian communities out there but emphasising the NEED and urgency within our world today for clarity in this area…)
I believe if we as believers truly understood singleness, perhaps we would see less confusion and pressure in this area, less toxic relationships and failing marriages etc.
What I’m trying to say through all of this is that singleness shouldn’t be ‘negative,’ it should be seen as a beautiful and wonderful time in our lives no matter the length of the season.
Can we honestly say that even if we never got married that we would still have served our purpose, served God’s purposes for our lives? I used to say, I’m not sure about the answer to this question but, now I say, yes!
Of course, that doesn’t mean we give up on those dreams, it simply means that we surrender it to God… Even if that means surrendering that to God every single day for the rest of our lives.
Don’t lose heart my friend, it’s not a crushed dream, it’s just a reminder that in the waiting, or even if the waiting is the rest of our lives, HE has work for us to do.
Singleness is a gift given by God!
Cherish it, embrace it…
…and don’t be afraid to let God use you even now… Often I think we stand in our own way of moving forward because we’re simply existing and not letting God use us in the waiting.
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