journey of burnout...

As I pondered on the year that's been, I saw how God “restored my soul” (Psalm 23:3). 

As some of you may or may not know, I faced the reality of burnout in November of 2024. In denial I remained, until God made it clear that it was time for a shift in gears. 

In the early stages of 2025, I thought the thing that I needed most was physical rest. Yet, I soon understood that burnout can take form in so many different ways. 

Thus, burnout means:

Exhaustion, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. 

I realised that as much as I thought physical rest would fix all my problems, I was mentally done… living in constant depletion, feeling ‘allergic’ to people, and struggling to know how to fill my days with the purpose God had given me. I felt, at times, in an unending cycle of overwhelming fears, being emotionally unstable, and trying to ‘fix’ this state that I was in.

As I continued on this journey, I also found it fascinating that we call it burnout.

This reminded me of that story in Matthew 25 (verses 1-13):

“Then the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish, and five were wise. For when the foolish took their lamps, they took no oil with them, but the wise took flasks of oil with their lamps. As the bridegroom was delayed, they all became drowsy and slept. But at midnight, there was a cry, ‘Here is the bridegroom! Come out to meet him.’ Then all those virgins rose and trimmed their lamps. And the foolish said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.’ But the wise answered, saying, ‘Since there will not be enough for you and for us, go rather to the dealers and buy for yourselves.’ And while they were going to buy, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the marriage feast, and the door was shut. Afterwards, the other virgins also came, saying, ‘Lord, lord, open to us.’ But he answered, ‘Truly, I say to you, I do not know you.’ Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour.”

In this passage, ten virgins are depicted. Five of whom didn’t have oil in their lamps. Long story short, as these five were getting their oil, the bridegroom came. They missed the bridegroom! 

They weren’t ready… They weren’t prepared… 

I never want to get to a place where I have to say that I don’t have enough oil in my lamp… That my oil is burnt-up. And then, miss God completely in striving to find enough oil. 

Our fire for Jesus should never burnout; the passion, the purpose, the excitement, the joy, the hope of our faith shouldn’t die.

I realised I had lost my zeal for life! In effect, this whole part of my story took me on a quest with Jesus, searching for truth, in understanding  boundaries, in learning “how to live from a heart of rest” (from the book 'The life you long for' by Christy Nockels), and knowing that “Jesus is enough, therefore I can rest" (from the book 'Nothing to prove' by Jennie Allen).  

In this blog, we won’t go into detail about each of these, but we'll talk more about them in future blogs. 

What I will say is this:

Over the past weeks, especially, I’ve pondered on the beauty of Jesus’ ‘enoughness.’ 

Because Jesus is enough, I don’t have to strive for perfection, nor do I have to strive to please… I don’t have to strive to be anything that God hasn’t called me to.  

When we believe, and I mean truly believe, that He is enough, we realise that all the things we strive for no longer hold the same value within our hearts. 

This season, most importantly, has reminded me that “in my weakness, He is strong” 

(2 Corinthians 12:9-10).

Jesus is glorified in our weakness.

In our weakness, we are reminded that we aren’t enough… BUT… Jesus is!

My sister and friend, He’s got you, run to Him. You don’t have to keep striving to perform. The real you is more beautiful anyway. 

With love, your sister,

Jessie Steenkamp